floral memorial site,beautiful images,flora,fauna

A time to pause and remember


Eleven months into this chapter of my life without Anna, It still feels so surreal.

I try to put into thoughts where I am along this journey, I think of an angry ocean,  I am trapped in that ocean struggling to keep my strength and holding my breath until each wave subsides.

For just a little while the water is calm, I take a gasp of air and prepare myself for the next wave knowing that the fight is far from over.


I fight for survival for I know Anna would want me to reach those  peaceful waters where  my body and spirit could be renewed.

I dream of that sun-drenched meadow  that we both loved, where only the flowers and the rustling of the trees  occupied our senses and the aroma of a wattle tree somewhere in the distance drifted in the air.

A perfect place where heaven and earth  seem to meet and where I can imagine that at least for a moment I could reach out and touch Anna again and hear the sound of her voice.

But  in spite of all the images I have around me, her voice and her touch evade me.

I read one of the  letters that  Anna wrote to me so many years ago and as I read, once again it feels as though she is by my side, encouraging me and driving me on.

We were seperated by such distances then and I could only describe those sights by the many letters  I wrote to her

I wrote  of so many far away places and the harsh beauty that surrounded me.

While she in turn wrote many letters to me, to give me comfort and strength.

And I made a solemn promise to her that one day  if she wished she too could marvel  at contrasts of this seemingly hostile and beautiful country.

In later years we fulfilled this shared dream and it’s out of  those  dreams  that all of thesee images arose.


A time to Pause , a time to remember how far we travellled in this shared journey together.

At the end of this chapter as “WE” , I now wonder what this future holds.
I am filled with fear and longing, as this  new chapter as “I” unfolds.

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  1. great work, eugene

    can’t believe its a year


    Mary xx

    • Hi Mary,
      thank you for your kind comments and I hope that somehow Anna will know that she is missed and there are many friends and family who loved and cared for her so much.
      I continue to miss her and can only deal with her loss by taking a day at a time and, – it also amazes me that a full year has already gone by.

  2. Hi gene, as you know I’m useless on the computer. Mary F. has just told me of your web site. Have sat here and enjoyed so much the journey that you and Anna enjoyed together over the years. I too feel very close to anna when out bush. Hopefully nature will help you move through the seasons and bring you happiness again. Love you always, Lyn

  3. Hola! I’ve been reading your blog for a long time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Austin Texas! Just wanted to say keep up the good work!

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